Armed with salty popcorn and The exorcist, I sweep into Duncan’s apartment. It was the first Saturday of the month, and that meant one thing - movie night with Trevor, my new bestie in Greed.

Trevor looked up from his sprawled position on the floor. “Pandora!” He shot to his feet and a squeal erupts from him as I wave the movie in his face. He does a little happy dance whilst dressed in a victor’s outfit, complete with rosary beads.

“You. Look. Amazeballs,” he gushes, taking my hand and spinning me around. My white nightgown had bits of oatmeal clinging to it, faking sick was difficult. But I’d managed a possessed look, with pale makeup and lank hair.

He grabs the DVD as I flop on the sofa. “Hey, Trevor, how was your month? That vampire bitch still giving you hell?”

He rolls his eyes. “If I’d known he was going to be a stage five clinger, I’d have forgone my night of passion.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” I snort.

He glances over his shoulder as he shoves the dvd on the player. “No you’re right, I wouldn’t have. The sex was,” he licks his fingers and swipes it in the air making a hissing noise.

The door bangs open and Jed and Zee stumble through the door. I slap my hand over my mouth. They are in matching black and red striped tops, hats, and one of their hands has plastic blades protruding from it, the other is armed with snacks. Jed’s eyes go wide. “Dude, I thought we were doing Nightmare on Elm Street this month? It was in the group chat!”

Zee folds his arms and glares at me. “Definitely was in the group chat.”

I arch a brow. “If you recall, we boycotted it when you decided I would be the half-naked damsel in distress.”

Zee grabs his phone and swipes it before releasing a huff. “You need to get better reception.”

“In Hell?” Trevor frowns. “Don’t you have satanphone coverage?”

“Is that a thing?” I ask as the boys throw themselves onto the sofas.

Trevor rolls his eyes. “It’s not like we have Virgin down here.”

“Huh, I could have sworn he was a demon,” I lamented.

The movie blasted onto the wide screen. “Hey, did you find out if Constantine was based on a real person?” Jed asks as he passes the Pringles over my head to Trevor.

“Apparently so.”

“Wow,” Zee mutters. “He’s my hero.”

My phone beeps. I slide it out of my nightgown pocket. “How come you get coverage?” Zee asks.

I frown. “It’s Archan, maybe it’s a god thing.”

“We said no partners. You promised after the last time.”

I glare at the phone.

 

Archan - Where did you put my keys?

Natia - On the hook next to the door - like always.

Archan - They aren’t there.

 

Jed leans over my shoulder. “Lame excuse for harassing your wife, bro.”

 

Natia - They totally are.

Archan - I need you to come home and check for me. I can only do “male searching?”

Natia - I’ll send Lulu.

Archan - Also a male. It has to be you.

Natia - Then I’ll send Emi.

Archan - I can come to you.

Natia - How would that help you find your keys?

 

Jed snatches the phone off me.

 

Natia - Bro, your girl is safe with us. Chill and go see Zac for a drink or something.

Archan - Jed? Why are you there? I thought this was a night with a demon.

 

I grab the phone back off him. “Awesome, now he will be relentless.”

 

Archan - Natia, I will be joining you shortly.

Natia - No! Not after last time. I’m still mourning the loss of my clown suit.

Archan - You were covered in blood, I needed to see where you bleeding from.

Natia - Fake blood.

Archan - Same difference.

Natia - You caused me to be naked in front of my friend.

Archan - That appears to be a rite of passage for all your friends.

Natia - It’s a new era.

Archan - Even our mail man has seen you naked.

Natia - One time! I forgot the towels in the dryer. So sue me if I refuse to put clothes on my wet body.

 

Jed snorts, so I glare at him.

 

Natia - I will be home in less than 3 hours. Sit tight and I’ll see you in bed later . We can use the headboard…

Archan - You play dirty. Fine.

 

I throw the phone on the coffee table and swing my feet up before popping open the bag of popcorn and stuffing ten pieces in my mouth.

“He’s not coming, right?” Trevor says glancing around the room like the god of darkness might just step out the shadows. I mean he can do that - but it’s not his style.

“Nope, he tucked up in bed like a good little husband waiting for me.”

“When is the human wedding?” Trevor asks. “Girl, you will look gorgeous in red. Please say you are kicking the norm and having a red dress.”

I shrug. “Not decided yet on the date or the dress.”

“It’s a little redundant now he made you his super-duper soul mate,” Zee mutters.

I throw popcorn at him. “The wedding is for everyone. It’s a public claiming in my culture.”

“Are exorcisms real?” Zee asks watching as the leading man visits the poor possessed girl.

Trevor tips his hand side to side. “Kind of. Not like this with a vicar and holy water. But the right words, with the right setup will see a demon banished. The host is normally already dead though.”

“So the church doesn’t have exorcists?”

Trevor side eyes me as he slurps on his cola. “They do. But they are less bible bearing and more demon bashing than this one.” He points at the TV.

“How?”

He jumps up and grabs my hands pulling me to follow him. “Okay lay on the dining table,” he motions to it. I hurry over, gather the hem of my nightgown and lay on my back. Jed and Zee turn to watch us over the back of the sofa.

“So the possessed just spits out curses and nasty words,” Trevor says looking at me expectantly.

I roll my eyes.

“Oooo role play,” Jed says.

I snort. Trevor folds his arms. “Fine. Your god can’t save you father. Your sins have already damned your rotten soul to Hell. Grrr,” I growl for effect. Zee and Jed snigger.

Trevor raises his hands and fire erupts in a circle around us. “Ooo pretty,” I breathe.

“Don’t break character,” he grinds out.

“Oh right. I am a wicked wicked demon who eats baby’s hearts and paints the walls red with the blood of your parents.”

“Is that the parents of the baby whose heart you ate?” Zee asks.

“Be gone you wicked whore. Go back to the depths of Hell that you dragged yourself from and leave this soul to eternal rest.”

I jerk on the dining table, milking my part for all its worth. “Be gone demon.” Trevor shouts and lifts his cross at me.

The door bangs open and a huge form tears through the room. He throws Trevor into the wall and scoops me up. “What have you done?” He roars his eyes swirling with a molten gold.

I tap his arm. “Hey, it’s me.”

He frowns. “What?”

“It’s me we were just role playing the exorcist.”

He jerks back. “There’s something seriously wrong with you.”

“My movie night, my rules.”

He clenches his jaw, releases me and picks up a dazed Trevor. Who promptly swoons in Archan’s arms and lays a hand on his own forehead. “My dark knight in Armani.”

I huff as I swing my legs off the table. Archan snaps out his hand trying to catch me, I’m quicker as a goddess though, and instead he snags my nightgown and it tears clean off my body.

I glare down at my myself. Jed and Zee fist pump behind Archan’s back.

“Double feature movie night,” Jed declares. “Now we have our damsel in distress.”

“I’m no freaking damsel, Smoothie.”

“That would be me,” Trevor declares.

Archan spins Trevor upright and takes a step away from him. “God save me, I’m surrounded by crazy.”

“You love my brand of crazy,” I point out.

He smirks. “True, let’s see how crazy we can get. You promised me bed action, woman.” He slaps my ass before the world tilts and we arrive seconds later in our bedroom. He points at the bed.

“Naked, Natia, now.”

A small smile dances on my lips. “Yes, husband.”